All the Feelings

Boy, have I been in a slump! I've been dealing with lots of feelings, things I don't like dealing with anyway, and trying to get through this...this! I don't even know what to call it. It's been a rough couple of months, mostly because of me.

Why have I been slumpy? Well, I haven't really felt like we've been doing anything "homesteading." And I've been feeling more like a big ole failure at homesteading. You know, we still buy frozen pizza.

Even though I know better, even though I have the best pizza recipe ever, I still buy frozen pizza.

I also have to buy drain-o. The vilest, most poison stuff around. I told Jeremy one time I would most appreciate if he would start noticing when the shower drain gets backed up and buy the stuff so I wouldn't even have to know about it. I know there's some who say that before the drain gets blocked, when it's just draining slow, you can pour baking soda and vinegar down the drain. Problem is I'm never sure what that means. And those same instructions are very adamant that if you use this natural solution when there is a blockage you will ruin your pipes. Forever.

I also feel like we're waiting now. Nothing really can happen until the waiting is over.

Plus, the past couple of months Jeremy has been working really hard, and really long hours, to get the aquaponics farm up and running. All while also still working a full time job. Which means this introvert gets to spend all of my time with my precious children. Who speak to me all the time. All. The. Time.

Sigh.

Anyway, I have no answers for myself. If you are feeling in a slump because you feel like a failure of a homesteader I would point out all the things you are doing, and that homesteading is something that takes time, and can't be done in a year or two, blah, blah, blah.

Sigh.

So I still have no answers, and I know all those previous answers aren't exactly comforting. What do you do when you're in a slump?

I start doing stuff. Does anyone else keep a running list of things in your head that makes you feel guilty? Well, when I'm in a slump that list doesn't get touched, but it sits there on my head and shoulders. So to start digging myself out, I start working on that list. Most of the things are little, so I get those done first. Some of the things, like running another 5k this year, have to be let go. 'Cause, yea, I'm not running a 5k this year. Nor have I lost the baby weight from Noemi (who turned a year old in October). Probably due to the fact that I can't run a 5k this year!

But other little things, like making some elderberry syrup, sending some friends a certain picture, and ordering my apple trees, help me to start to climb out of the slump. And if the sun would stay out here long enough to dry up some of the mud, I think the slumps would go away completely! I think the goats are even depressed with all this rain.

So all this to say, I'm still here. Just not doing anything that's particularly homesteading related. Or cooking. I need to start cooking again...

2 comments

  1. Jennifer, we feel your pain. FYI, the lye that you use for making soap is an awesome drain cleaner:) Also, this sounds a little chickenish, but if I feel that way, I do something I know I can do successfully. I make a list - on paper- that has even the small stuff. So then when I can cross off those things, I can get that "Ha! See I did that" sorta feeling. You probably need a day at the spa, but I know all too well with a family and home to care for, that might not be in the cards right now. (Honestly I've never had a day at the spa, but it has such a relaxing sound to it doesn't it?)
    Keep you well & breath~
    Blessings

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    Replies
    1. That does sound so relaxing, although I don't know that I'd love massages and what not. I'm not huge on touching. :) And it always does feel so much better when we can get something done, even if it is little something, you're right. And thank you for the tip about lye! I'll have to start buying it in the spring when I get to start making our goat milk soap.

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